now what.

The show came and went very fast. The entire week before the show was not fun. I really don't remember much, it's almost like I was black out drunk the whole time. But I do know it was miserable. I don't think the carb cycling and water depletion really did that much for me anyway. If I did another show I think I would skip that part. The carb cycling for sure. And just do the water reduction right at the end. I think that would give me better results and be much more tolerable....for everyone.
The afternoon show was a blur. The poses were called so fast I couldn't harldy get into one before the next was already being called. I don't think I posed too well. But hey, I was the only one in my division and it was my first time. so...I guess it was ok. I just don't think I got lean enough. I still looked really heavy from the belly button down. Ugh. So if I do the May show I need to still cut weight and up my cardio and all I really want to do right now is binge out on the pot-luck going on in the teachers lounge. I ate two pieces of pizza saturday night. They were amazing. I could have ate a lot more. I easily could have finished the entire pizza, but I also didn't want to get sick. So I kept it in check. But my blood sugars were so messed up that I couldn't get to sleep until 2:30 in the morning and then I was up at 4, thinking about the waffles at the continental breakfast. I waited until 6 and went down to check out the waffle situation and they were out of batter. I almost burnt the place down with my rage. But instead  I went to breakfast at the Snow City Cafe- it was awesome. And I didn't get sick from it either. I was totally bloated and I've been making some pretty bad farts, but no explosive poops or pukes so I'm calling it a victory.
I went to the gym last night and ran two miles and lifted a bit and tried to work my abs, but I still felt too bloated. I couldn't breathe because my gut was in the way. Then when I came home my calves started cramping up really bad. I was a mess. I didn't make it to the gym this morning, but I'll go after school.
I'm technically back on the diet and training again. But I'm not sure about the show. I'm not sure this is my style.