team sweetcorn

I am the luckiest girl in the world. I was walking through the office at school yesterday and recieved a delivery of flowers, from someone with a very thick accent, the delivery girl told me. When I read the card and saw that it was from my parents I just giggled and said, yeah they're from Iowa. I love the flowers, they made my day extra special. It seems like the timing is always spot on with right when I need a boost something really good happens. Like the time I was really dragging and didn't want to do my afternoon set of cardio but I went in and as I walked in the owner of the gym gave me free sweats and a sweatshirt to wear at the competition. That got me all excited and definitely helped me through that cardio session. Last week I got a package from a friend full of some treasures and a super nice card. She sent me a bottle of spray tan(more on that later) some rockin sunglasses and  a cookbook, which I promptly read front to back and have already imagined all of the things I'll burn. A few weeks ago my friend Kelsey gave me a card with a coffee gift card in it, just to say thanks for being a friend. I'm sure there are about a million more nice things people have done for me, helped me with, even just nice comments, all of these things have really helped me stay focused and on track. It really does take a team. I couldn't have done this alone, and am really appreciative for all my friends and family, and coworkers who have helped me along this transformation.

Ok, enough serious talk.

Last night I was home alone with several bottles of spray tan. I decided to go for it. That might have been a mistake. I am now a dirty shade of spottedness. My skin id weird in places. Maybe thyroid related? But yes mom. I am taking my pill. But I'll investigate that further later. Anyways, there are patches on my stomach and around my armpits and the back of my neck that maybe don't shed skin as fast as the rest of my body and these patches are now REALLY dark. I'm a leopard. But in reality that sounds a lot sexier than it actually is. Hopefully, the really dark stuff covers it up. Otherwise.....maybe the judges will have a cat fetish?  However, I showered this morninng and the spots dont' look soo bad. Definitely still there, but I think I'm going to have to see a doctor to find out what they are caused by and what I need to do to get rid of them, and there's no way thats going to happen before the show. So spots are what I'm working with.

Reducing my water today to one gallon. It should be ok. One gallon is still quite a bit. It's weird but after two days of no carbs and 50 yesterday- now I'm supossed to have 80 today and I feel fat and bloated. On the brink of desperate, with thoughts that I need to do more, workout more, lift more, do something drastic. But I'm holding on to the knowledge that Darin is the man, he knows what he's talking about. There is more science to this than I'm aware of and I just need to relax and stick to the plan. I've done all I can. I left the gym this morning and realized it was the last workout, I still have cardio tonight- don't worry- double cardio never stops, but as far as lifting. I'm done. I'm nervous that I'm going to look soft or fat by saturday. But I'm also aware that I'm a total nutcase.